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coming to terms [May. 5th, 2009|02:58 am]
i told myself i'd sleep early tonight, but i managed to do A LOT of things to deprive me of my much needed slumber. it's 3am, my hands are stiff cause it's freezing in my room and i have just spent the past i don't know how many hours going through at least 2000 pictures. :| after all those pictures, i finally thought of hitting the sack when the most random person messages me and you know what, it just put me in a really good mood. from that conversation, i realized that there are still so many nice/friendly people who are so easy to talk to and don't judge.

i still believe that all these things that happen have some reason in the greater scheme of things. i just need to figure out what those reasons are. i will try my best to prove you wrong. i am not what you think i am.

i think that this is telling me something. what are the odds that i'd find that out, that you'd see each other at that time at that place, that you'd text her, that she'd be with me when you did... i want so badly to fix this because no matter how bad things are between us, i will not let this fade. i don't want to forget.

"save me, i'm lost. show me what i'm looking for."
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all these words seem so very empty [May. 3rd, 2009|04:32 am]
it's 5:14 in the morning and i can actually see the sky slowly brightening up. i can't sleep so the random thoughts are going to keep pouring out until i feel like i can go to bed.
1. i look back and think of how it was so easy, how everything fell into place so effortlessly. and now, things are so different that i can't help but be sad because i ended up losing so much. i lost more than a [insert word]; i lost someone who knew me inside out, someone who i could be so comfortable with that it didn't matter what i was wearing or how sabog i looked, someone who i could call my bestfriend. i really hope you're doing okay.
2. why me? whenever i think i'm doing things right, that i'm finally drifting away from complicated, there's always something that pulls me back in. i tried so hard to keep those kinds of my things to just my friends, but for you to see it is just... BOOM.
3. i'm really trying to make an effort to keep my cool. i don't want stupid things like this to affect me and i hate that i have to suppress it because the idea of it affecting me is really pathetic. i have no confidence in myself.
4. i really hate that you can't keep personal things private. respect, please.
5. i thought that i could make everything go smoothly, but that just ruined whatever impression i would've liked to make.
6. i really don't want to waste my time on things that go nowhere. it only makes sense putting effort in something you want to succeed.

i think 6 is a pretty decent number. the sandman is getting to me and i can actually see the sun, so i guess i'm good for the night.
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(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2009|03:19 am]
i'm waiting for mo and rav to pick me up. i haven't slept at all and i really hope i packed everything i need to for bora. :|
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(no subject) [Apr. 14th, 2009|11:46 pm]
[music |ooh la- the kooks]

helllllooooooo suuuummmmmeeeeerrr. :D

despite all the tiny mishaps, like walking back and forth with the crazy heat and doing a shitload of papers, monday was a good day. when i got home, relaxed for a bit then headed over to alven's for the shoot. and then, the highlight of my day would have to be the surprise visit along with the box with the ribbon that took forever to remove. thank you. :) lent is over and i get a bunch of chocolates= awesome possum, haha.

I was going through my planner and looking at everyday I wrote on since the year started. I’m kinda scared that I might be going too fast for my own good. I just don’t want to get ahead of myself or rush into anything considering all the things that have actually just happened. All things put aside though, I know I’ve made the right choices (with the more important things). It’s all a matter of pacing myself with all the things going on right now. :D
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tell me your secrets and ask me your questions [Apr. 7th, 2009|11:48 pm]
[music |scientist- coldplay]

i have no idea where this is going, but then again, i guess i never really do.
i don't know if i ever really learn.
i think i've asked the world to prove me wrong too many times.
i will try go with the flow.
i will try not to make a big deal out of things.
i will try not to expect anything.
i don't like being disappointed.
i will be cautious.
i will find the boy who picks the popcorn jellybeans. one day. :))
i will eat chocolate on monday because i can.
i need to pace myself. control.
i will enjoy tali, no matter what.
i really think i'm a magnet to things like that.
my theory is that: if i don't attract topak, then i bring out the topak
i wish things were as easy as they were when i was 4.
i want to make good and right decisions
i could not have been more wrong. wow.
i will figure it out.
i will stop.
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what are you thinking of? [Apr. 6th, 2009|12:58 pm]
[music |dream machine-mark farina]

this song is pretty trippy.

i cannot wait until lent is over. i miss chocolates so much. :(

who would've thought, haha.
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this is surrender [Mar. 6th, 2009|01:58 pm]
[music |breathe- anberlin]

i did not expect that it was this week that it'd happen and that i had the guts to do it. i don't know.

i hate waking up confusing reality with dreams for even a split second. :|

i love my friends who keep me company so that i never stay idle.

got to school early so i watched tv in lair, then went with ikee to the gym. after, i went to my bio class and waited for ikee and flex and ended up going to maga and ate in shakey's. :) thanks for keeping me company.
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we don't have to stay friends, let's pretend to be enemies [Feb. 14th, 2009|03:40 pm]
[music |yeah, whatever- splender]

well, you weren't lying when you said that you could surprise me. you surprised me on so many different levels today.

this is just not my day.
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so tell me, what do i need when words lose their meaning? [Jan. 14th, 2009|08:18 pm]
[music |jimmy eat world]

funny how i find out the most random things, haha. just makes you think what people know

i absolutely hate that you never learn. you never get it and all you can ever say is sorry.
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you're the same as the next one [Jan. 3rd, 2009|02:51 am]
[music |suckerpunch- envy on the coast]

1. had dinner in the fort with my fam, ended up buying more stuff from faceshop. :))
2. grawr. missed dinner with sina rellie. :( next time, i will go mireille. haha.
3. okay, so for the past hours, i've been watching 90210. where is the boy who separates the popcorn jellybeans from the rest because it's my favorite? of course, it doesn't need to be that exact thing, but to that effect of thoughtfulness.
4. i can't believe it's 2009, it just hit me when i started doodling on my planner. here's to another year of doodling and writing my daily events. :D
5. why am i almost sure that you're going to go late :(
6. i love watching makeovers.
7. shit, it's so near na pala. must come up with ideas. :|
8. stupid freaking megavideo
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take me out tonight, take me anywhere, i don't care [Jan. 2nd, 2009|12:58 pm]
[music |there is a light that never goes out- anberlin, lapse- envy on the coast]

[my thoughts at 3am]

random thoughts:
-is in the mood for RM with VRB, Y and B. :))
-i am bored out of my skull. after days of exhausting myself, going out and not sleeping, i find myself at home with my messed up body clock doing absolutely nothing. :| 
-i can't wait for you to come back home. :(
-there weren't many stars out when i went to bora. pity, those were one of the things that made bora awesome.
-i miss my baby, daniella
-i'm actually getting a tad bit sleepy but i'll give it a bit
-i think this whole _____ _____ thing is healthy, hahaha.
-where are you? :(
-you tame me
-my head is starting to hurt from staring at this screen
-i like being assured
-youtube is keeping me up :| i've missed listening to good music :)

"i'm just here to remind you, remind you not to forget to remember me"
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here's to goodbye, tommorow's gonna come too soon [Dec. 26th, 2008|06:08 pm]

the barkada dinner/sleepover was awesome. great food c/o fran's two cousins, gifts, rockband, drinks, wonderful company, inflatable beds. :) i love you guys. :)

christmas eve was pretty fun. had dinner with the marcos side then back to my house for the cruz side. angelo even brought over my gift and we opened what we gave each other sabay, hahaha. thank you so so so much. at around 3, we were all surprisingly allowed to go to fiamma. i love my cousins. :)

christmas day- had lunch with the cruz side then had dinner with just the family.

in a few hours i will be leaving for boracay. god, i'm not going to get any sleep. right after bora, going to matabungkay with my fam and hopefully kawayan with my wonderful barkada.
 

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when soul meets body [Dec. 21st, 2008|02:02 am]
[music |soul meets body- death cab]

random:
1. i seriously cannot believe you. i will shove you head in your ass. PUTANGINA.
2. you make me uneasy
3. wants you to always be safe :)
4. i seriously lack sleep
5. it would be pretty cool if you did :))
6. perfectly contented with you
7. feels bad that everyone knows your business
8. raffy, fran will miss you ;)
9. you deserve so much better
10. i really hope you like it. i'm poor now... and tired as hell. too much walking.
11. easy money= putting out your hand infront of a wasted tito=1k :))
12. is really happy for you :)
13. that was really fast
14. hopes things work out for you

i came from dasma, which was surprisingly fun. dancing to the oldies, eating good food, the unlimited booze (though i barely drank), watching all the rents getting wasted, easy money. :)

i need to get some rest since i have to wake up at 4am. :| goodnight, world.
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rockin' around the christmas tree [Dec. 20th, 2008|03:00 am]

for the sake of updating... so far my christmas break has been spent:
15- the end simbang gabi everywhere :))
16-18 was spent in tali, a christmas vaca with mo, rav and yells. :) sleeping super early, steady vibes. we're getting old. boo. :( haha
19- JVC's party at camille's awesome house. elianto- hot girl bartenders. male stripper- super kawawa. seeing my lair loves after so long. :) missed you guys so much!

what i want for christmas:
a new camera and a SLR (which i will learn how to use)
laptop bag/case
clothes, shoes and accessories
see all my friends who i miss like crazy!
my braces to be removed! asa pa ako, haha
cookies and cream hersheys
violet crumble
mint chocolate
to get more than 2.9... always so close, but never good enough. i need to stop slacking off, haha.
stop

okay, i think i shall spend my last few minutes taking a power nap before simbang gabi.




 

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this is what the world is for: making electricity [Dec. 12th, 2008|05:58 pm]

christmas break, be good to me. :)

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hey, wait, i've got a new complaint [Nov. 28th, 2008|06:45 pm]
[music |heart shaped box- nirvana]

i'm so freaking annoyed, but it's probably just me pmsing so i may be a tad bit hasty. how the fuck does someone forget something like that? what a waste of a perfectly good friday. :| really, all these small things get to me like anything, especially at the rate it's going where it all just keeps building up. "sorry" can't cut it when things like this always happen.
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going nowhere, without a care [Nov. 24th, 2008|07:50 pm]
i don't know anymore.
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do what you feel now [Nov. 12th, 2008|09:49 pm]
[music |electric feel- MGMT]

random rantings:
1. gosh, you try to do something nice for a person... so much for that.
2. not a cool joke, man. but i still love you. :)
3. after FOREVER, i have finally fixed my schedule. i really really really hope i get all the classes i want. please don't backfire. :)) i fixed my classes by myself so if i have any kasama, it's chamba lang. i hope it turns out okay though, haha.
4. i so do not see myself becoming DL this term. :| haha

because i can )
sometimes

If an ex said he hates you, you say?:
fuck you

 
If a fairy godmother comes into your life, you'd...?
wish for a lot of things

What is your current annoyance?
a lot

Do you like drama?
rarely

Last time you were on a boat and where?
hmm... i don't know, the only thing that enters my mind was when we took a boat to bora. :))

Do you take daily vitamins or medications?
sometimes

 
Where is your computer located?
den, office and parents' room

What was the last item you bought?
blizzard from dairy queen

What country has the best food?
hmm.... this might take me a while to answer, haha

Last time you used a coupon?
mcdo, haha

Are you afraid of roller coasters?
nah

If your best friend told you they were moving, you?
if it was far, i guess i'd be sad

 
Would you rather go to a party or out of town?
depends on my mood

Apple Bottom Jeans or Hollister gift card?:
gift card?

Do you think you're dumb?
no, i'm not blonde =))

Say a random word?
eel

Do you wear anything with skulls?
hmm... i have a jacket and a bag with skulls? haha

What is/was your school mascot?
archer

At what age do you want to be married?
latter 20's

Is divorce an option?
i hope not
What color is your luggage?:
black... or is it navy blue?

Where and when did you last go on vacation?
tali, lots of times

 
Where is your mom right now?
downstairs

What are you supposed to be doing right now?
reading about neanderthals

What is your 5 year plan?
finish my course and be working, doing something i enjoy

10 yr plan?
happy and content

One wish?
live a fulfilling life with no regrets

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?
somewhat, i suppose

When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
not sure

How is life going for you right now?
steady

When was the last time you held someone’s hand?
a while ago

Who can you tell everything to?
God? no one? :)) i don't know. depends.

Who was the last person you talked to on AIM?
no one

Last words you spoke?
no

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a C?
HAHAHA yeah

How do you feel about gay marriage?
all for it

What is the next concert you're going to?
dunno

Do fish have feelings?
of course, fish are friends

 
How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
no idea :|

Would you rather watch football or baseball?
football... i think

Missing someone right now?
quite a few people

What's the strangest fact about you?
hmm... i can't think of one right now but i have a lot

Where is your number one person on your friends list?
scattered

Do you feel like dancing?
to this song, YES haha

How much money do you have on you?
enough

Do you sleep naked?
no, hahahahaha

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
maybe? haha
Do you burn easily in the sun?
yeah, and get freckles!

Do you speak another language other than English?
uhuh

What made you happy today?
lots of things

Who were the last people you ate lunch with?
sofia, rav, mav, miles, migs, ikee, pao, and other people?

Where did your last hug take place?
my house

Did you cry today?
yes

Plans for today?
neanderthals

Who do you love more than anything?
hmmm

Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?
somewhat

What's your ideal career?
i don't know, something that pays a lot and makes me happy

Are you happy with the choices you've made?
most
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lullaby [Oct. 18th, 2008|08:29 pm]
[music |river flows in you]

i am currently waiting for bert, mo and rubadub to pick me up. while i wait, i shall make kwento:

okay, so during nstp, sam asked me if i heard the soundtrack of twilight and i haven't so she made me listen to bella's lullaby. it was kind of disappointing but i wanted to hear it again and i found another lullaby instead; IT'S SO FREAKING SWEET. it's called "river flows in you". there are no lyrics but it's making me all fuzzy inside. :)) i know i'm lame. i'm not sure if this one's the lullaby though. but i'm in love with it either way. :) IF ANYONE HAS THE MUSIC SHEET, PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME. :) i wanna learn it. shit, i need to brush up on my note-reading skills. :))

thank you to everyone who greeted me! :)

thank you )


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a few more hours [Oct. 16th, 2008|08:25 pm]
a few more hours till i become legal, haha. everything seems so... the same. i don't know, maybe i was expecting a whole lot of different things. haha.

omg! hahaha i listened to "goin' crazy" and wow, MEMORIES OF FRESHMAN YEAR. what happens when doms and isa are bored: create a music video! =)) man, i wonder where that is. good times, good times. :)
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